i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
