Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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