We won't sleep together?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
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Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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