It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
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Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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