and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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