I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize