The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Panties = found
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
