Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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