were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
