You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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