just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
