I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
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