Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
