So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
