There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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