I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
