Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
