Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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