I accidentally burped into my bong.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
