who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Boobs are out for the taking
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
