We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Randomize
