So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize