My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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