Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
