You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
She said her name was "party"
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
