three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
