He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
