You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
