remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
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