Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
