I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
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please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
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