I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Randomize
