At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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