she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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