well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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