Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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