Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
