if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
