So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
