He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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