Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
