i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
