remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
