he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
