I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
