So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize