did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
