He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
