Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
