I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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