I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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