just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
