i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize