can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
