That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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