he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
