Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
