Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
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Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I can't turn off my feet"
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Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.