I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED