I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
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I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
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Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.