are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
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Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
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She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷