You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
