i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Randomize
