He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
