i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
